Mischief
by redwolfoz
Summary: Mischief!verse. 100 word drabble & ficlet series. Spike and Dawn are the perfect cohorts.
1. Poker

**Jossverse Drabbles Challenge:** Doorways

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**Poker**

by Red Wolf

Dawn watched Spike as he wandered through the house. Checking the doors, the windows, making things safe. It would have taken half the time if he allowed her to help, but he always refused, claiming he worried she'd miss something. Didn't like that she was out of his sight, scared they might be seen.

She tolerated it now. It was easier than fighting him and the ritual calmed him, settling him down for the evening.

Finishing his rounds and satisfied that all the hatches were battened and they wouldn't be disturbed, Spike produced a deck of cards.

"Deal. Aces high."


	2. Partners in Crime

**Author's note:** This is a series of drabbles — exactly 100 words — and ficlets written in response to several LiveJournal community challenges.  
**Jossverse Drabbles Challenge:** Word of the day for your birthday: Cohort

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**Partners in Crime**

by Red Wolf

They were as thick as thieves, always watching each other's back. But then, that's what friends did.

Buffy, and by association the rest of the Scoobies, found the relationship disturbing. But Joyce had seen it for what it was, and was grateful for the distraction they provided each other from the monsters that were drawn to the Hellmouth.

The motorcycle sped away into the night, the apartment receding from view. There'd be hell to pay when Xander discovered his bathtub full of creamed corn, but by that time Spike and Dawn would be long gone and the picture of innocence.


	3. Dart Guns

**15 Minute Ficlets Challenge:** Competition

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**Dart Guns**

by Red Wolf

Dawn didn't bother asking about the way Spike constantly baited Xander any more. He seemed to go out of his way to harass, rile or just plain irritate the man, and Xander never managed to grasp that he was having a pissing contest with himself.

Spike was still chuckling to himself as they wandered the aisles of the Sunnydale video store.

They both had to agree that the nerdy looking clerk who was a fixture most night they were scrounging for flicks, was the best things that ever happened to the town. While Bob made sure there was a steady supply of mindless dreck for the masses, he also made certain that a wide range of movies were available for people whose taste fell outside of semi-literate teenage boy.

Since Bob's arrival, Dawn had seen more independent, arthouse and foreign films than she thought possible. It had taken a while for the concept of movies outside of E! reviews being both available and not only good, but vastly superior to Hollywood bean counter productions, to sink through years of conditioning by studio stooges.

Spike had been working his way through Sergio Leone's films, forever making any western Dawn would ever see look like a pale imitator, and was toying with the choice of _The Cat o' Nine Tails_ or _Dellamorte Dellamore_. He opted for the latter, impressed that Bob had managed to find a copy on DVD that still had its _not dumbed down for the US market_ name.

They were soon on their way to a night of popcorn and movies, when Dawn finally broached the subject she'd been wondering about since they left the _Magic Box_.

"How did you get the suction cup darts to stay stuck to Xander's forehead?"

"Trade secret, love." Dawn glared at him and he gave in easily. "Okay, not really, it's just crazy glue. The five minute Araldite I saved for the darts I shot at his car on the way out."


	4. Dellamorte Dellamore

**100 Word Drabble Challenge by Wednesday A:** Internecine

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**Dellamorte Dellamore**

by Red Wolf

The groans of approaching zombies were nearly drowned out by the whirring of the spaceship shaped disc launcher and Nerf gattling gun. And their giggles, of course.

They'd discarded the dart guns early in the battle as being too slow to load, that, and the suction cups sticking them to the screen soon obscured the view.

Dawn was claiming victory in numbers because she took out the busload of children, where Spike argued that he'd easily dispatched more villagers and insisted that Dawn be penalised for repeatedly shooting Rupert Everett by mistake.

_Dellamorte Dellamore_ was fast becoming Dawn's favourite film.


	5. Misconduct

**Television Show Based Drabbles Challenge:** Evil Incarnate

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**Misconduct**

by Red Wolf

"Sometimes I really hate Xander." Dawn was sitting on the back step, keeping Spike company in his cigarette imposed exile. " I know Anya's blunt and doesn't always know how to behave in public, but he's so rude to her."

"I know, Bit." Anya was a big girl and should've known better than to put up with a condescending prat, but when he'd heard that Xander had tried his tactics on Dawn, it was all Spike could do not to kill the man.

"He needs to be taught a lesson."

Spike produced a bag from beside the steps and smirked.


	6. Sardines

**Jossverse Drabbles Challenge:** Food

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**Sardines**

by Red Wolf

Dawn rummaged through the bag Spike had handed her. She found a spray can and some marbles, nothing out of the ordinary, until her hand closed on a rectangular tin.

She examined the can with pictures of fish on its ring pull top. "Sardines?"

"You eat them, Bit." She still looked puzzled by the tin. "They make nice sandwiches."

"Eew. That's just wrong." Dawn screwed her face up in horror at the thought.

"Wasn't planning on feeding them to you." Spike sighed, he'd always liked sardine sandwiches. "I thought they'd go nicely slipped into the door skins of Xander's car."


	7. Splice

**15 Minute Ficlets Challenge:** Quirky

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**Splice**

by Red Wolf

Spike and Dawn had volunteered to help Anya with put away the new shipment that had arrived at the _Magic Box_.

Banishment to the storeroom had provided the perfect cover, allowing them to slip out unnoticed and wreak havoc on Xander's car. Spike had been true to his word and placed sardines inside each of the door skins, for extra effect he added a marble inside each hubcap. Dawn had opted for the more direct approach and filled the glovebox with a spray can of polyurethane gap filler.

Managing to finish their work for Anya early, they were long gone and deep in debate with Bob at the video store, before Xander could discover the damage. Bob had managed to dig up a selection of 70s Italian horror movies at Spike's request.

Dawn was curled up against Spike on the lounge, wondering what all the fuss about. The movies were pretty cheesy and nothing out of the ordinary. Then she blinked in surprise and pointed at the screen. "Did you see that?"

The actress in a diaphanous gown had walked out of one room, through a second room to appear in a third. Nothing would have been strange about that, apart from the spliced scene in the middle room featured a different actress who was topless.

"Yeah, that's why I asked Bob to dig them up for us, Bit." A close up on an actress in a window cut to the strange topless woman again. "These movies are a continuity hoot."

"Who's the topless woman?" Dawn was trying to figure out where she fit into the film's plot.

Spike had to explain that she wasn't part of the movie. There was a crossover audience between soft-core porn and horror movies decades ago in Italy, so the studios would splice in these odd little bits of film to try and pick up a larger audience. It made for funny, if slightly surreal viewing.

They were making a contest of spotting the ring-ins, when Buffy arrived and broke the news about Xander's car. It seems he still couldn't find where the strange smell was coming from.

Warily eyeing Spike and Dawn's fit of hysterical laughter, Buffy looked at the television. The film they were watching didn't look that funny.


	8. Television Addiction

**Television Show Based Drabbles Challenge:** Uncommon Tastes

* * *

**Television Addiction**

by Red Wolf

"So, what are you watching tonight?" Joyce was staying in for the evening, but the Friday night moviethon was getting to be a fixture.

Dawn explained that it was a musical about two clerks who worked in the stuffy Foreign Office in Whitehall during the Suez Crisis of 1956.

Spike could see Joyce's eyes glazing over. "Bit before your time, love, but Connie Francis, Buddy Holly and Elvis Presley... always classic."

Buffy flounced by and picked up the box. "Ooo... Ewan MacGregor. Count me in."

Which is how they all came to be singing along to _Lipstick On Your Collar_.


	9. The Professionals

**Jossverse Drabbles Challenge:** The 80s

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**The Professionals**

by Red Wolf

Spike almost flattened Dawn as he raced to answer the door. She could see a courier, but with Spike's addiction to Internet shopping, it could be anything from a rhinoceros Beanie Baby to computer components.

"It's here, Bit." He made a beeline for the television, happily tearing apart the Amazon.uk box he'd just received. He removed a large DVD box set from the packaging. "Brit cop show, guns, fast cars... You'll love it."

Dawn examined one of the DVD cases. "Looks like there are cute boys to ogle," she conceded, although the bubble perm one was sporting looked extremely suspect.


	10. Blake's 7

**Jossverse Drabbles Challenge:** The 80s

* * *

**Blake's 7**

by Red Wolf

Dawn signed for the delivery, Spike still too wrapped up in having all 57 episodes of _The Professionals_ in his possession to have noticed the courier's knock.

"Spike, another Amazon.uk delivery." She nearly lost fingers in Spike's pounce shred attack and wondered if this counted as using his vampiric speed for good or evil.

Two boxes, (one silver, one bronze) emerged from the packaging. "Blake's 7! A bunch of morally ambiguous prisoners steal a ship and form an interplanetary resistance group battling for survival against a totalitarian super-power."

Dawn looked blank.

"Bloody Americans! Complete disregard for Brit telly pop culture."


	11. Discovery

**Jossverse Drabbles Challenge:** Vacation

* * *

**Discovery**

by Red Wolf

Dawn had spent her Summer vacation being babysat in one form or another.

During the week she was helping out at the _Magic Box_, while the weekends were spent watching an increasingly eclectic selection of movies with Spike.

She had to admit that she'd learned things from the experience. Unpacking boxes for Anya had taught her that even the most innocuous sounding things could be alive, evil-smelling or non-colourfast.

Spike's filmfest had given her an appreciation for different things. She'd also learned that dropping British slang around her sister caused Buffy to develop a nervous tic that was extremely entertaining.


	12. Dial Tones

**Jossverse Drabbles Challenge:** Ring

* * *

**Dial Tones**

by Red Wolf

Dawn had hunted up the codes and Spike was punching them into the phone. They would have been happier if they could test their work, but timing was of the essence. As they heard Anya returning from a quick inventory of supplies with Xander in tow, the phone was returned to the counter by the register.

Anya farewelled Xander and turned her attention to Spike and Dawn. "What was it this time?"

"Phantom of the Opera."

Xander's image wasn't helped by a phone that rang in show tunes, but he had yet to learn not to leave it lying around.


	13. Muzak Quality

**Word of the Day 100 Challenge:** Suffice, Pretence, Frontier

* * *

**Muzak Quality**

by Red Wolf

Dawn scrolled down the screen. "_Don't Worry, Be Happy_, _Copacabana_, _Mandy_... Hey, what's _Afternoon Delight_?"

"Grab that one, love. Worst song I've ever heard. See if they have that godawful Pina Colada song and _I've Never Been to Me_. That should suffice."

Dawn made a pretence of grabbing a pen from Anya's supply by the register and nabbed Xander's phone at the same time.

Spike's fingers flew across the keypad as her reprogrammed the phone with a new ringtone for each phone number.

Having tired of show tunes, they thought they'd push into the new frontier of really bad songs.


	14. Off Limits

**Word of the Day 100 Challenge:** Aerie, Ensorcell

* * *

**Off Limits**

by Red Wolf

When the new stock arrived, Dawn, and therefore Spike, had been banished to the loft where the restricted books were kept.

Dawn didn't mind, she was out from underfoot and could spread her work out to her heart's content without being glared at. Looking down on the _Magic Box_ made her feel like they were in their own private aerie.

"What are you doing?" she hissed under her breath as Spike leafed through a book he'd taken off the shelves.

Spike flashed her a lopsided grin. "Just looking for something to ensorcell Xander."

Dawn dropped her research and joined him.


	15. Blue Boy

**Jossverse Drabbles Challenge:** Patterns

* * *

**Blue Boy**

by Red Wolf

"We can't do that." Dawn was struggling to keep her voice down as Spike pointed out his favoured curse, a broad grin on his face. It was quite a maniacal grin.

"Yes we can. It's not like it's permanent." He was making notes of the necessary ingredients.

Dawn scanned through the spell until she got to the results. Apparently the victim's first layer of skin would slowly cycle through lurid swirls of colour. If they got the pronunciation correct, Spike was pretty certain they could get a nice paisley effect. "Okay. You grab the K'van bile, I'll get the indigo."


	16. Repercussions

**15 Minute Ficlets Challenge:** Picture Challenge #14

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**Repercussions**

by Red Wolf

Giles wasn't being much use. He'd taken one look at Xander and dissolved into very unlibrarian, or un-magic shop owner, giggles. He took a deep breath, steeled himself and looked directly at Xander again. The young man was faintly magenta, you could almost mistake it for sunburn or acute embarrassment, but then a swirl of vibrant yellow drifted slowly across Xander's cheek before disappearing into his hair and Giles was gone again.

"He's definitely upset somebody. It's a very impressive curse. I used to see it all the time, but this is one of the better variants."

"Anya," Xander snapped in impatience, turning a bright blue as he raised his voice.

"See, Giles, that's the colour he turned last night when we were having dinner." She was quite taken by the multi-hued Xander, although she was a bit concerned that she wouldn't be about to coordinate the apartment furnishings if he insisted of constantly changing colours.

"Yes, yes, very interesting." Giles had a theory but testing it out would involve hearing things he'd rather not know about. "Anya, did you notice anything last night that set off certain reactions?"

She thought for a moment. "He was almost his normal pinkish skin tone when we had sex and the patterns disappeared completed when he gave me an orgasm."

"Anya! We've talked about this." Xander flared into neon blue again.

Giles point was proven. "Ah, I see, a teaching curse."

"Really? What's it doing? Teaching Xander how to be a psychedelic flashback?"

"It's reacting to the way he behaves towards you. If he talks to you in a civil manner there's little or no response, but if he treats you poorly the patterns increase in density and contrast and Xander turns a quite fetching shade of Yves Klein Blue."

Rubbing her hands together at the news, Anya walked Giles to the door. "Thank you very much, but now you need to be going so I can cure Xander by making him give me orgasms."

As Anya bustled him out the door, Giles managed to whisper, "It'll wear off in a couple of days."

"I won't tell if you don't."

Giles smiled as he headed home. Perhaps something good would come of this after all. Which reminded him that he would need to talk to Anya tomorrow about the dangers of letting Spike and Dawn loose in the restricted books section of the store.


	17. Dispute

**Word of the Day 100 Challenge:** Disingenuous, Pedantic

* * *

**Dispute**

by Red Wolf

Giles had confronted Dawn over Xander's unfortunate new skin condition, but found her response disingenuous to say the least.

"Those books are dangerous. Anything could have happened." He gave her his sternest look in the hope of conveying the seriousness of the situation.

Dawn snorted. "Don't be so pedantic. The only thing that could have gone wrong was the spell failing. And besides, Xander has been politeness itself to Spike and Anya, so it was worth it."

Sighing, Giles had to agree that she had a point. "I'd prefer you avoided magic." He had enough on his hands with Willow.


	18. Acquired Tastes

**Jossverse Drabbles Challenge:** Playing  
**Word of the Day 100 Challenge:** Macabre

* * *

**Acquired Tastes**

by Red Wolf

"Hot!" Xander fanned his mouth and tried another piece of candy. "Salty!" He tried again and screwed his face up in disgust. "Perfumey!"

Dawn had almost bitten through her lip to stop laughing as she watched Xander's performance with macabre fascination. It had been going on for five minutes, but he kept going back for more.

"What is that stuff?" she whispered.

Spike had substituted the contents of Anya's candy bowl. "Crystallised ginger, double salted liquorice and musk sticks."

"It is edible, right?"

"Depends what you're used to. Thought I'd broaden his palate."

Xander reached for the bowl again. "Salty!"


	19. Bananas

**Jossverse Drabbles Challenge:** Trick or Treat

* * *

**Bananas**

by Red Wolf

Dawn caught Spike filling the Halloween candy bowl with the same mix he'd used to torture Xander.

"You can't give that to kids."

Spike emptied another bag into the bowl, the yellow bananas, caught Dawn's attention. He yet hadn't inflicted those on Xander.

"What are these?" She took one, sniffed it experimentally and then tentatively nibbled an end. She quickly scarfed it and started to pick the other bananas from the bowl. "They aren't getting these either. They're all mine."

The addictiveness of banana candy scored another victim. Spike grinned as he opened a bag of double salted liquorice.


	20. Excess

**Jossverse Drabbles Challenge:** Illness

* * *

**Excess**

by Red Wolf

Dawn was curled in a ball of misery on an armchair. "I feel awful."

Spike snorted. "Don't look at me like that. I didn't force you to eat five bags of banana candies."

Groaning at the mention of her new nemesis, Dawn looked up at Spike pitifully. "Never again."

"Then you won't be wanting these." Spike brandished the last bag of banana candies.

Leaping off the seat, Dawn snagged the package before Spike could pull it away. She was surprisingly agile for someone still doubled over in banana candy overindulgence. "You're evil."

"You'd do well to remember that, love."


	21. Paranoia

**Jossverse Drabbles Challenge:** Watching

* * *

**Paranoia**

by Red Wolf

Feeling the hair on the back of his neck rise, Xander spun around; the movement was swift and sure like a panther with a large pink feather duster.

Anya was serving a customer, Dawn was studying and Spike was picking his nails with a knife.

As Xander narrowed his eyes in suspicion, Dawn looked up from her work, asking Spike a question. Books were opened, paper was shuffled and, Xander assumed, questions were answered, as Dawn returned to her work and Spike went back to playing with his knife.

Something was off, but Xander couldn't put his finger on it.


	22. Feint

**Word of the Day 100 Challenge:** Pike, shirk, caltrop, armistice

* * *

**Feint**

by Red Wolf

Spike leant across the table, his lips close to Dawn's ear. "You're not piking on me, are you, love?"

Never one to shirk from a challenge, Dawn crossed to the counter and made her purchase. Package in hand, she left the store, returning ten minutes later without it.

A curious Xander queried Anya and, when she explained exactly what caltrops were, he ran for his truck, shrieking like a girl.

Anya eyed Spike and Dawn in suspicion. They'd collapsed against each other in laughter, as Xander had left, the intact package between them. It looked like the armistice was over.


	23. Retaliation

**Jossverse Drabbles Challenge:** Hair

* * *

**Retaliation**

by Red Wolf

Xander clenched the table so hard Anya made a note to check for indents later.

"I'm going to kill them."

Anya sighed. "You're being melodramatic."

"Not helping here, An."

"You came in from work in a foul mood, yelled at me, nearly hit Spike and spoke to Dawn like she was a child. That kind of behaviour kept me in work for centuries, be thankful you got off so lightly."

Xander ran a hand over the stubble that remained of his hair.

"Besides, it's your own fault for falling asleep when you should have been helping me in the store."


	24. Overpass

**Spike and Dawn Challenge:** Waiting

* * *

**Overpass**

by Red Wolf

The wind picked up, blowing Dawn's hair across her face. She pulled it back, fumbled in the pocket of her jeans for a hair tie and secured it out of the way. "Will the wind affect trajectory?"

Spike looked up, lifting his face to a sudden gust. "Shouldn't be a problem. The weight of the ammunition and the relatively short drop should negate any wind interference. But to safe, you may want to be a little on the heavy handed side with the first round."

They had to lean close together for their whispers to be heard over the rustling of the trees, but when the wind dropped the acoustics of the bridge meant that the scuffling of rodents could be heard echoing up the face of the structure. Dawn leaned over the edge and checked her mark, lining herself up with a chipped stone balustrade. Satisfied with her preparations, she walked to the other side of the road, ducking below railing level so she couldn't be seen from the approaching road below.

She removed a pair of lightweight night vision binoculars from her jacket pocket and surveyed the road through the heavy balustrades. Spotting an approaching figure, she waiting long enough to confirm the target before returning, again taking care to remain out of line of sight.

"On his way," Dawn whispered, lips against Spike's ear.

Dawn retrieved her weapon and Spike waited by her side, balancing a large box on the inside edge of the railing to keep it hidden from the road. He mouthed the countdown they'd worked out earlier, nodding to Dawn to get ready as they heard the heavy crunch of boots through autumn leaves.

* * *

A heavy splat landed at Xander's feet, close enough to splash his boots. He looked around, not seeing anything, but when he looked up an avalanche of water balloons hit. Not all of them contained water. He yelled, getting a pus like liquid in his mouth that made him retch in reflex. It took him a moment to realise the pus was actually custard, but the delay was long enough for his attackers to have vanished.

As Xander stood on the bridge, dirt-streaked jeans from the scramble up the slope adding to his already food-encrusted visage, he wondered if Anya could come out of vengeance demon retirement for one last job.


	25. One Hundred Films

Title: One Hundred Films You Must See Before You Die Author: Red Wolf E-mail: red wolf at redwolf dot com dot au Website: http: Distribution: Ask first, I like to know Rating: G Summary: Mischief!verse. 100 word drabble. Dawn checks off her list of movies.  
Jossverse Drabbles: Challenge #100: One hundred

"What are you doing?" Dawn was editing what appeared to be quite a long list.

"I'm going over the list you made me ages ago. A hundred movies I have to see before I die."

Spike looked over her shoulder at the notes she'd added. "You didn't like The Seventh Seal?"

Dawn shrugged. "I kind of lost the plot with that, but seeing the restored print of Metropolis at the German Embassy with the orchestra rocked."

Spike had to agree. "That it did. How many left?"

Dawn checked her count. "Another forty. So, The Seven Samurai or Blowup?"

"You pick."

Mailing List 05.03.2005 - 05.03.2005 - 05.03.2005 - 05.03.2005 - 05.03.2005 - 05.03.2005 - 05.03.2005 - 05.03.2005 - 05.03.2005 - 05.03.2005 - 


	26. Doubt

**Jossverse Drabbles Challenge:** Betrayal

* * *

**Doubt**

by Red Wolf

"Why do you let Xander talk down to you?"

"He doesn't."

"He nags you about what you say, how you say it, your behaviour..." Dawn ticked off points on her fingers.

"Xander loves me."

"B 


	27. Inconsequential

**Spike and Dawn Challenge:** Nature  
**Jossverse Drabbles Challenge:** Enemies

* * *

**Inconsequential**

by Red Wolf

Dawn watched as Xander paced about the store, muttering under his breath. She had to hide behind her book as she heard him claim Spike as his sworn enemy.

Spike didn't see Xander as a worthy adversary. In fact, he didn't view Xander as much of anything beyond a minor annoyance and, if he wasn't involved with the Scoobies, would have throttled him for the sheer hell of it.

Where Xander saw an intricate conspiracy out to get him, the reality was just a bored vampire looking for a momentary diversion.

Xander just didn't get the nature of game.


End file.
